witout-ur<3.

2010-11-09T08:02:00.000-08:00

gonna MIA from blog and facebook, i think..

till my life is SSS-TABLE and WUN-DOR-FUL.

but ...

YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! :D

gonna use tt only i guess..

here you go,

http://twitter.com/RITAnxy

2010-11-06T10:19:00.000-07:00

NGXINYI, YOU AINT STRONG. STILL ACT STRONG.

SLAP YOURSELF FOR DOING IT!

2010-11-06T06:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe last post, or maybe not. i dont know...

anyway, maybe one last happy post about us on yesterday.

yesterday, meet my babes for movie outing~ "Due Date" && me and wy also the last one to reach. HAHAHAS. (Y). stella brought the tickets. left the front few rows. and she brought the ticket @ 1 plus when the movie started @ 3. can you imagine? the tickets were sold so fast!? then met gwen and went to arcade to play bb. LOL. im so lousy at it. -.- siasuey. LOLS.

rushed back to the cathay to watch the movie. over all. 3stars / 5 stars. i think "The Hangover" is nicer and funnier. lol. but nt bad after all. :D

after tt, baby sms-ed me to go yishun to celebrate his grandma's birthday tgt. so went over to find him without tagging with the girls for steamboat.

spent the night at there. ummm.. funny and nice family he has. and i find his grandma damn funny. the way she talk. hahahas!

after tt, baby went home first, while his gugu fetch me home. and her puppies also so cute!!! one call benju (should be spell like this) and Odi. The Odi was so cute can. in the car slept like a pig. no matter how hard his gugu shake him wake up, he wont wake up. how cute. just like the way yoghurt's sleeping pose when he just came to us. hahahs! cute puppies! :D

at the end of the day, i really felt tt we've been tgt for very long and our future has alr been planned well. but tt was one precious moment. very precious to me. and i really enjoy it and happy although i know tt moment wont last.

it's like Cinderella. once the clock strike 12, everything back to square one. where her unhappy moment is back. same goes to me.

although Cinderella got her happy moment at the end. but i dont think i will.

i really love you alot. but i still choose to make this decision. i know what you gonna say and how you gonna use tt tone of voice to talk to me. i know... which my heart cannot take it. there's alot of things i would like to say and tell you how much i love you. but i think it is undescribable and i might get hurting at the end.

and theres one thing you must know, tt is my heart is all along with you. no matter what will happen, from the bottom of my heart, i still love you alot alot alot~

Leave it to your feeling and fate. i will respect and accept the answer you gave me

2010-10-31T09:35:00.000-07:00

what should i do?

with my weak heart aches like this ...

how i wish, i dont have a heart,

that will be given out.

i think only sleeping pills is my best friend now

2010-10-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

ZOO OUTING WITH BABY! :) ♥

went to zoo with baby today. thanks his aunt for the free tickets :D fun day !! im happy to go with baby although can see from baby's face, he's reluctant to walk and bored.. but after the show @ splash theater, he seems to be more interested :D and guess what we saw after that, BABY'S BEST FRIEND! PORCUPINE!! hahahahs!!!!!! (Y)

after that, went to fish spa! first time trying it.. damn interesting can. &&& TICKLISH! omgggg.... baby kept holding my arm cause its ticklish. hahahahs! alot cute faces from him. hahahas.

then, while waiting for the bus, it started raining. BIG RAIN.. heng.. we see finish alr :D. &&& the freaking thunder is loud can! double the normal ones. omgggg.... bus to amk hub. slept throughout the whole journey with baby.. :D

mrt back with baby after that. HAPPY DAYS!! :D cause there's you around with him.

iloveyoualotman, baby.

you're the best i've ever have

2010-10-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

Went to school, but.. didnt go for lesson. so went to school = never go. :D

before tt, have some argument with baby. at the end, we're alright. then, my stomach cramps like fuck. distance in school to opposite seems so far to me. i walk till i sweat like fuck. cab home with baby. rest inside the cab.

reached, wash leg everything. straightaway lie on the bed alr~ rest till evening. baby accompany after tt. so good~

signing facial package with baby soon! weeeeeeeeeee~

I will be a good & nice girl of yours.

i dont wanna regret for not doing anything that i always wanted to do or be.

yes, we're happy.

yes, it will be all the way.

& yes, this is the way tt should be.

2010-10-17T09:42:00.000-07:00

one day, if u dont heard me anymore. what will you do?

find me? i doubt so.

leaving me to go like this, i know you will.

have you ever love someone like this?

this is my first time.

2010-10-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

Maybe treating you good, is just letting you to take advantage of it.

i wish you could change back to the days before your birthday. how sweet and concern are you. The first priority is always me but nothing else. but.. you said tt you've changed. how long? it was just a moment of time. to me, its like seconds and hours.

yeah... im just so stupid to believe that you've changed to a better person, someone tt i've always wanted to have as a boyf. but after this week, i guess not. you didnt changed. You're still not the one i always wanted and wished for. to you, you think im used to it and all those blah shit. all those are totally craps and bullshit to me. as a girl, who doesnt wanna her boyf to be like this. caring, sweet, always the first priority, spend time tgt no matter on phone or what instead of playing those stupid games or whatever shit. WHICH GIRL DOESNT WANT IT!?

to me now, you're no different compare to the past you. work, friends, GAMES. which will definitely leads to neglecting me. maybe you think you will not. to me, you will.

i've caught fire once. if its was you, you wouldnt want to have a second try right?

these two days, you really torn and broke my heart. i cried, like one madwoman whose water tap cant be turned off. but after just now, my heart went numb after crying. Losing me, to you, is nothing. i know. maybe i will just tell myself it worthless for me to do anything now.

& u might think im just saying for fun, doesnt mean it, i wont do it or it's the the opposite way, then i shall tell you now, you're wrong.

The last drop of tear from my eyes, is the last day im gonna love you.

2010-10-01T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today, one passerby fortune-teller told me, "I look at you. You're lucky. Boyfriend? You put too much love. Understand?"

some hinting from the God or what? to me, it is a hinting from God, telling me something.

i really put too much love.

2010-09-24T08:48:00.001-07:00

I'm crying out loud~

i'm hurt, i don't wish to continue anymore

2010-09-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Weeks alr, i still didnt get any better. but GET WORSE! just today. i drank lots of herbal tea. afternoon, father brought one fucking bitter herbal tea. made up of 24 herbs. OHH. IT TASTE LIKE SHIT. at first mother say it will be very very very bitter. then father say "wont la, i buy cold one" so for me, happily shaking the bottle well, open the cap, and start drinking. at first, it was okay. then slowly down to your throat, and here comes the torturing part. ITS FUCKING BITTER CAN. THE WORST DRINK I'VE EVER DRANK! think of it now, its like *hand stand*.

after tt, rushed home. bathed and met baby. and the idiot bus made me waited for 16 mins!? like fucking idiot sitting there and wait for the bus to arrive. -.- bus 31 to tm. baby brought me ANOTHER herbal tea. oh man. ALMOND TEA SOMEMORE. first time see got such tea. then slowly open it, drank the first mouth, "why got chao ta smell hahs?" OMGGGG. and baby say very nice. -.- eeeek. tt moment i feel like vomitting. then geisiao drink abit and close it. walked around. baby brought his ear stud. and bus 3 to pasir ris. and i was being force to drink 1/4 of the almond tea. OMGGGGGGGGGG! in the bus fall asleep in baby's huggies.

reached and walked to find minghui they all. the first thing i saw kyo, HE WANTS ME TO CARRY HIM!! so happy ! ;D. walked around to look for suitable places to eat. in the end, went to fish market to eat. celebrated baby kyo's birthday :) *in between being force to finish tt tea* :/

at the end of the day, pei baby wait for bus and home sweet home. guess what, mother reached home and pass me one big container of herbal tea AGAIN!!! i think i gonna pee on my bed tonight. stomach full of herbal tea. the problem is, i didnt get any better after drinking so much. -.-

2010-09-16T05:49:00.000-07:00

last few days, baby is sick. now is my turn.

i'm having fever, cough and flu.

it's like one day i'm like a dead person lying on the bed, the next day can jump around then at night like a dead person again.

today i feel terrible. but now, im like okok alr~ phew~ hope tmr i will be alright.

anyway, hope baby can study and score well at the same time for his exam next week. actually this week u should have stay at home to study instead of going to work. -.- but afterall, is up to you to choose?

&&& tmr you pay? :D

2010-09-08T06:46:00.001-07:00

im back from my trip to malaysia yesterday morning!! rushing like a madwoman yesterday. :(

supposely, should be back on mon. but last minute change to tue. i brought nothing back but SICKNESS SICKNESS SICKNESS!! angry! rubbing my nose til the skin gonna peel, cough my lungs out. eeek! the worst part is while im sleeping, open my mouth to breathe, my throat very dry. close my mouth, my nose blocked. :@ dont know what to do now.

anyway, today went over to baby's place to cook for him. :) cause in the morning he say he not feeling well. so decided to go over to cook for him. reached, went to supermarket tgt. walking around and deciding what to cook. at the end, decided to cook egg porridge with some dry scallop, fried luncheon meat & sausages and one canned veg..

while cooking, baby keep disturbing me.. till my mind is in the mess. chase him out of the kitchen. while i'm happily doing my things. he is watching his anime.. :D

&&&&& the result was EXCELLENT! hahahas... even baby's sister say nice:D happy happy. next time shall cook veg porridge:D

waiting for the day when YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK! hohs...

2010-09-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

tmr i'm going to malaysia. will be back only by monday evening. it's been quite some while since i went there.

anyway, i also dont wanna be like this. but things seems to been damn fucking sensitive to me. i fall down hard once. i wont let myself to fall down again, things to repeat again, everything. maybe you can say i'm selfish. but all i wanna to do is protect myself from those rubbish and nonsense you gave me last time.

frankly speaking, i've a choice to make whether to go tmr or not. i know you asked me to go prawning tmr with your gugu they all. but to me now, i need a rest from those rubbish shit and have a break. and wanna visit my grandfather, as my mother said he might only have numerous days left. so i went.

i wanna trust you. but something seems to be there to block me. when you say you miss me, i doubting.

how i wish, i could do everything that i cant do now.

anyway, days which i'm not by your side, drink more water, hungry must go down and buy things eat. dont lazy or play game till you forget. at night dont open your mouth and sleep. cover blanket and sleep.

& a picture for you ...

i love youuuuu

2010-09-02T01:27:00.000-07:00

yesterday went for event @ CCW. TIRED! but luckily today no need go school, CAUSE TEACHERS' DAY! :D. but me and baby have training @ clarke quay for the F1 job.

so met baby @ 3 @ clarke quay mrt. but i'm late, due to finding of my ic photo. dame, dont even know where is it hiding NOW. forget it. then went to have ba ku teh first before going to the training. training ends around half past 7? then went to clarke quay river to walk. sat down and relax. pictures of baby's funny faces, :D

then baby pei me took bus 2 home~ :) so nice of him.

2010-09-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

last week, after see the advertisement on the Alive Gallery. i'm like so interested! told baby about it. and he decided to go with me on sun. so we went there. actually meeting at 11.30. but in the morning, i realise i wont be able to wake up tt early. so i change the timing. :D.

after everything, we went to do our Nebo card, cause it will be cheaper for the admission fee. went in and look around. pictures taken ... :) and the fucking problem there is, no camera or pictures taken, unless there's yellow box, inside stated "Take picture here". stupid right. even the exit picture "Thanks You for coming to Alive Gallery" also cannot take! WTF MAN~ ==.

ANYWAY, the whole fucking exhibition is fucking boring. ==. WASTE MY MONEY. and baby is like whining all the way, saying things "WOW, THE PICTURE REALLY "MOVING" LEHS!" in those sacrastic way, AGGGRRRR. and he say what i tio scam alr. :@

then after tt, went to have lunch @ BBQ Chicken. nice nice:D treat baby eat. but after tt, i scam his $7 inside my pocket ^^. actually wanna return him one, but i forgotten. till i saw his blog. LOLS. but i RETURN him alr. :D

after tt, pei baby take bus 3 home, then home sweet home.

2010-08-29T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'M GONNA UPDATE TMR~

cause i'm tired alr:D

2010-08-27T04:10:00.000-07:00

2 weeks holiday is ending soon. fucked up! :(

anyway, changed back to old blogskin. others dont seems nice to me at all. LOLS. still prefer this. anyway, while using photobucket, i saw my last time de pictures. omg~ the face complexion is like alot better than now. eek~ miss it. :( when i see this, i'm thinking whether, long hair or short hair suits me more?

(few years back)

Any different compare to now? BIG DIFFERENCE. lol.

(current)

these 2 weeks what am i doing? nothing nice? either stay at home or went to find baby. went seesha all these. although i'm happy. but not really happy. happy days always come to an end at certain time. isnt it? then bad things come after that.

when will those happy days come again?

2010-08-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

I Still Remember When I First Saw You ....

it was at cafe 2. you were sitting with your friends. so am i. out of sudden, you friend came to me and say tt someone over there wants my number. but i think he pointed the wrong guy. but i did saw you, sitting straight just looking infront. so i just gave it.

then you smsed me. then i knew it was you. saw you outside indoor stadium . i was with pearlyn. then we chatted. later you said you going for practical sms me later. i remember, i went for baking lesson with larry. after that, on the way home then i receive your message. in between i thought you wouldnt want to sms alr. but you did.

so we continue smsing each other. till i saw you cafe 2 again while i was Q-ing up for ban mian. you smile at me. tt was the first time you smile at me. then we start callign each other names. i called you super tortoise. but i cant remember what you call me. then one night, you called me and told me you were super tortoise..... i wont forget how the way you talk to me.

I still remember....
tt day was sun eclipse. i skipped school to see it but i was having rashes also. went to see doc alone. after tt, i went to visit hakkem at changi hospital. you pei me. that was the first time i went out with you. after tt, failed to visit him and you suggested going tm. once we reached tm. you brought my favourite, Vanilla Milkshake for me. i was happy after tt. then we went to arcade and play. i still remember i won you. :) went to t1 and met my secondary friends. you pei me also. you pei take bus then home sweet home.

one night, you told me, you like me. i dont believe it. but you told me is the truth. i was shocked after that. cause, i also start to like you alr..

then on the 25 july 2009, we went to ps Cathay to watched The Haunting Connecticut. horror show. in between, you hugged me while i'm cold and scared. after tt, at mrt, you spoke on my ear to be your girlfriend. I'm happy. but shy. so i smsed you the answer. pei you go hg to play billard. then you send me home as you scared i miss my way home. and tt was sweet. :)

Sweet moments, like national day; my birthday; halloween day, was happening till ....

last year, when you went clubbing all those.

worst, that i will never forget in my life.

last year dec, on the christmas eve night. i was happily ending my work. wanna go celebrate with you. end up you say you cant find me due to some family issue. we quarrelled over it. and i went to meet gerald and co for a drink at east coast. next day, christmas day. you came to find me after my work @ 6. we went to east point to have your dinner @ sakae. i saw your phone kept ringing but you didnt wanna answer. so i went to take alook. the first time, in my life, i saw those messages in your phone. which i couldnt believe i will see such message from your phone. & it was first time in my life i saw my boyf having fling outside. not even those, every things you did, even on christmas eve! from tt day on, i was utterly disppointed in you.

life from tt day was up and down. one day you told me something. you were just playing me from the start. till (i forget when) then you start to be serious. from tt sentence on, from tt day you told me this, everything. i start to think. from the start till now, did i make the wrong choice and decision? My mind and our relationship have never been peace till now.

last few day, i saw our neoprint inside your wardrobe. it's like being abandon there. It reflect on me alot of things. Questions .... Answers to it .... by that, are you telling me, you're ready to abandon our relationship and me like how you put tt neoprint aside?

till now, the deep scar is still there in my heart, in my mind. the terrible experiences i had. and you wont understand this point. you will only say i have attitude problem. hot temper. petty. whatelse. alot more.

scar is scar. there's nothing tt can heal it. till now, nothing.

i feel insecure now. which you wont care and bother. I cant see why you need me and important to you till now. the things you doing is like, in your life, there's no such things as "girlfriend". all you know is games, friends, drink, work. nothing else. and i fucking hate the way you treat me.

i still remember every lil tiny bits about us. i bet you dont. our stuffs and my stuffs, you wont remember. you told me. unless is very impt ones. tt moment, my heart sank...

till now, i'm still crying hard like how i cried when i first saw everything.

2010-08-15T05:51:00.001-07:00

Maybe it's time for me to leave.

2010-08-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

I just wanna be a happy girl.

2010-07-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

~~雨过天晴 ♥~~
~~everything is over. i'm happy now. i wanna be a happy girl from now on. so will you :)~~

anyway, these few weeks will be my phrase tests and role play. sickening. today just end the first part of my role play, that's Group Discussion. hell nervous can. and we speak too fast? our timing is only 12 mins>. god. but Ms Lee say overall everything is fine, only we speak too fast. :D

then, went to baby's house. done Facial for him. practice for tmr's facial phrase test also. Wash, Scrub, 2 masks for baby (Oxy Mask & Minimize pores), tone, and moisturizer. The Oxy Mask i apply for him, there's bubbles (picture below) got the "sizz sizz sizz" sound. cool right:D. after everything, his skin look white and clean. xD.
while baby is sleeping, i was off-ing the com. and guess what i saw, BABY CLEANING HIS SALIVA AWAY! eeeyer! HAHAHAS. so cute can. halfway sleeping, wake up and clean his saliva. then, playing with baby's clothes. sibei funny. i laugh till i drop on the floor. hahahahas!

then, cab to my house, then baby take mrt to aljunied.

there goes a happy day with hubby. :)

2010-07-25T00:33:00.000-07:00

Baby just wanna say,

ILOVEYOU SO MUCH.

HAPPY 1 YEAR !! ♥
*like finally ....*

2010-07-22T23:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, new blogskin. hahahs, cuteeeeee right. :D

anyway, nothing to blog. ^^

GOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD-A NIGHTTT ~

2010-07-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

i had a bad dream last night.

"Mother kept shouting you're a bad guy. asking and forcing me to leave you."

Is this real?

I think i'm gonna make changes in my life. i need to wake up from those "beautiful and impossible" dreams i've.

So i slapped myself hard and tell myself "It's time to wake up and see it yourself now!"

2010-07-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

my blog is dead dead dead. even my tagboard is dead cause something went wrong with it.

LOLS.

my life wasnt interesting anymore. it's just plain boring. going everywhere i know. it's like my daily places. nothing interesting places to go. even those "meaningful" places tt i wanna go, to me now also just nth, just boring.

life has been wavy, lots of ups and downs and even emotion breakdown. life have been very happy during the last 2 weeks of my holiday. but when school starts. it changed differently. it wasnt tt happy anymore. not the things i always wanted anymore.

"One day, tt person will change. so are you" this is what i tell myself everything something happen to us.

but when will this sentence ever make miracles? but no fat hopes on it for me.

i'm just hoping, one day, things will go the other way round for us.

& tt's my boring life now.

2010-06-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 11TH MONTHS WITH MY DEAR BABY BOY :)
although it's not a very good day at first, but we enjoyed it at last :)
awaiting for our 1 year ^^.
it will be a good one :D
muacks!

2010-06-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

my blog gonna be dead soon i guess. LOLS! i've got nth to post. holiday ain't like holiday to me. work work work work. money money money. i think, i think of money till i fall sick. just recovered from my fever. now i'm still having flu and coughing. damn my voice changed. sucks can :/

life stress till want my life alr. dont even have a proper day for me to rest well. till now, tonight, i have to burn essential oil in my room. :(

my current life is like ohmygod to me. like there's no more school life for me. no more studies. just plain working. god.

I'M TIRED! I NEED A GOOD REST! :'(

2010-06-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

Cause without you, I can't breathe
I'm not gonna ever let you leave
You're all i've got, all I want.

And without you, I don't know what I'll do
I can never ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see.
You're all i need.

All my life, I'll be with you forever, baby.
you?

2010-06-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

bad day i can say. everything was bad. except for my practice for CMS Listening exam was alright. i got 8/10. :)

& i think i injuried my feet and even the back of my head while i'm in bad mood. i really dont know what i was doing and thinking that moment of time. i just need to know, you got no time for me. even spending that few mins with me, you're just that busy. and i think you're now crazy for money, no long crazy for our relationship like the past. getting more and more arrogant, even the food you wanna eating is of getting out of line.

till now, i miss you so so so so much, your voice, your jokes, your sweet talks, everything. but i dont even dare to sms you. i dont wanna disturb you. how much i wanna cry and scream that i'm sad, not satisfied, or whatever. i have to keep it to myself. scream inside my heart, cry inside my dreams. i cant tell you. now you think i'm seeking your attention, but i'm not. so the more i shouldnt do all these things to you. i only can do it to myself, no one out there that i can really do all these, only you. No choice for me to make.

all myself now. everything i do, only myself. whenever i go, only myself. till that day you're back and done with your stuffs, i hope we could get through it.

but i just wanna say, we dont need money to spend happy life. so what if you got alot of money. yes, you may say you can buy whatever you want. but you cant buy everything you want. No money, also can lead a simple and even happier life. like we use to have at the start. & i think for me, the most important is that I dont need you to be very rich or even rich only, all i need is you to be by my side.

or maybe ... it's just you wanna have your own satisfaction. not what i'm thinking. i wont know.. time will prove lots of things.

2010-06-08T04:27:00.000-07:00

ohh.. my body is getting weaker and weaker.
mother say my "look" is getting good to bad.

Hand and feet getting colder each day.

What happen to me?

fainted yesterday while having my dinner. it's like ... giddy and slowly cant really see anything and black out. my eyes turned white and lips turned black. after all the pinching and pressing from my mother and maid. manage to wake up. after that, mother used a spoon and something like "rub" over it. pain till i cried, also thinking about the stuffs. i cried. and i realise i become thinner than before. my hand is like bone. LOLS. but ... you dont believe and think that i use "faint" this word to get your attention. afterall, i also lazy to explain. explain so much for what? as my boyfriend you dont believe, what can i say, and i dont wish to explain that much. wanna believe or not is up to you.

today, morning damn pehceh. without your understand, still say dont want talk to me. gg then. after that, felt very cold, my hand and leg is like having winter season. after that, i feel better after getting panadol and some warm water. warms hugs from you also. :)

after that, things come again. and i feel ... lots of things. thinking and thinking ... till i'm lazy to think alr. dont even want to think. i'm tired! tired of those heartaches, hurting words from your mouth!

& i dont come 1st in your mind, or heart, no matter where, right?

Think it hard.

Are you willingly to Give in and Put Effort in our relationship?

I need a guy who can! CHANGE WILL YOU!?

and dont give excuse like what "i will give in alot last time and blahblahblah"

i think i gave in more than you gave.

Think it hard.

& save those hurting words if you have.

2010-06-05T06:02:00.000-07:00

whole dat at home. bored man. whole day eat sleep eat sleep till head kinda heavy. think gonna become fatty bom bom soon. LOLS.

sis went to hk alr. so the house kinda QUIET. still thinking whether should go taiwan anot. 1 week tour. freaky long. and i only have 3 weeks de holiday, and dont wanna just waste one week like tt. still thinking it now. :/ still got alot of places feel like going and maybe working. *AHHHHHHH*

NAHS.. I'M BORED BORED BORED BORED!

* but how i wish he could do all those. like what they said, i would love him to the max if he could do all this."

2010-06-02T06:06:00.000-07:00

Lots of feeling, questions follow by answer running thro my mind.
ever since after what i've saw.

somehow... lots of things telling me the answer to my questions.
i couldnt control anymore.
i'm just too weak infront of you.

will you be happier that way?

2010-05-30T06:18:00.000-07:00

anyway, I'M BACK FROM MY STAY AT "MICHAEL HOTEL, SENTOSA"! :D
went to swim and jacuzzi at Hard Rock Hotel.
by the time i get to swim, there's no sun.
tt's what i want. get to swim but wont get tann. :D

the stay was rather ok.. but didnt really enjoyed it due to something.
everything to me was bad except the food.
but .... I WIN WHILE GAMBLING WITH MY COUSINS. :D
keep taking ban ban or ban luck. hehehes!
best thing was, MY AUNT SAY I GOT THINNER! ^^P

at night was watching "Scream 2" on channel 5. freaking show man! ARGGHHH! scared me like hell. :/

and guess what, while i'm outside alr. i then found out my nose was so naked! no earstick or nose stud on it! guess what i put on it. a flower de ear stud, that looks like POPCORN! lols! damn funny can. cousins kept saying i've a popcorn on my nose. while sleeping.. my POPCORN drop out. LOLS. then.. i found my earstick inside my makeup pouch. was like

!@#$%^&*

anyway, i wanna go back to sentosa but other places ... :)

my CMS exam is tmr.. very scared now.. :/ wish me good luck xD

2010-05-25T04:25:00.000-07:00

Happy 10th months tgt. :) tough days .. but we made it through.

tmr having NAFA. fcuk it man. :/
anyway, my birthday gonna celebrate at KTV after voting . :D
awaiting ... ;D

2010-05-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

Baby, i do cherish you.

do you?

2010-05-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

looking through those pictures tt is inside my computer.

caused I'M BORED!!

i'm waiting for baby to end his work and sms me. :(

torturing man. to wait so long. but just now he did call me. *happy*

I'm waiting .... patiently waiting ... :/

2010-05-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

"Girl That Can't Break Up, Guy That Can't Leave"

my case:

"Girl That Can't Break Up, Guy That Can Leave"

2010-05-08T08:34:00.001-07:00

THANKS HUBBY FOR THE MEAL!

very full :D

and the first time eat raw salmon.

hubby teach one ;)

I missed the smoked salmon! :(

2010-05-05T22:13:00.000-07:00

from now on, baby wont be mine alone.

i've to share him with lots of people.

spending lesser time with him

somehow .. something ..

makes me ...

nevermind.

i only can learn to understand.

but i think .....

i cant and i wont ...

2010-05-04T05:04:00.000-07:00

finally, got the mood to update. phew~

here to update last week event's. TRICIA BIRTHDAY! :D

before tt, afternoon met baby for job orientation, about sales. then bus down to cine to watch "Kick-ass" i lose the bet with baby. so it was my treat. :) afterall, the show wasnt tt funny, like almost everyone said it was. and not really nice. kinda stupid story line. it shouldnt be M18. PG or NC-16 should be alright.

after tt, baby pei me bus down to leisure. then asked him along with us. playing catching with him around while wy is smoking. *tired* then kbox after tt. best of the best. :) in between was too high. till kept going to the middle and dance with the girls. LOLS. then, ml out of sudden "broke down". then, followed by us. see her, reminds me of things we've been through tgt. tt moment, i cry out loud and baby hugged me and told me somethings. happy to hear tt. :D

anyway, PICTURESSSS.

cab home @ 2 plus with baby. after tt ... something happened. that shouldnt be said. one nice BLACK panda eyes i've got. (Y)

anyway, hope our dear tricia enjoyed her birthday with us:D Happy 18th birthday :D

2010-04-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

i've the urge to talk to you.
why do i have this urge. do you have it too?
have i ever cross your mind after that?
is it good stuffs or bad stuffs?
*thinking hard* -> bad stuffs.

i've have been fucking attitude these few days.
and i cant get to know why.
just a little tiny stuff, i will getting freaking pissed off.
sign of depression? ._.! nope??

whenever we got into a fight, after that, i will regret what i've said. like now.
after each fight, i feel freaking hell sad, disappointed; like i'm having hell depression!
hell thinking lots of stuffs, questioning myself, telling myself, and blah stuffs.
just like a girl from mental hospital.
i dont want that! x'c

i've

low self-esteem

low confidence

i dont feel good being myself

i feel i'm sucks at all times

i dont even love myself

that makes me think alot why you wanna be with me.

W.H.Y?

i'm not pretty or whatsoever.

what makes you be with me?

each time, is it too late to regret or not?
at times i wonder, "why do i even bother" when you dont.
it's like i'm all alone at the situation.

not talking to each other for the night or even whole day, you might be fine or even okay with it.

but do you think i'm okay or fine with it?

like my friend's msn nick:

"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

maybe it's right. maybe this sentence applies to you.

there so much question in my mind now. that might not be even solved.

i feel freaking insecure now.

hugs wont make me feel better.

is the answer that might make me feel better.

so when will it be the time?

& thinking what will be the next hurting words you'll say after you see this post? or not even a single things? :/

._.

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's okay.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

If I will wait, would you still think of me,
And wished that you could hold me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away

& to kiss my pain away..

Would you be there?
For me..

i just wanna get your attention on me, baby.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

2010-04-22T04:51:00.000-07:00

lessons in school was HELL BORING. and making me sleepy. so that leads me to, PON LESSON:D.

baby came to fetch me to school today. went to have "breakfast & lunch" at campus haven. the food there kinda sucks right now. :/. then decided to pon lesson and went home with baby. was freaking tired till i didnt help my baby to massage. LOLS. and he say i'm give excuses. :( soooo badddddd~ next time hahs, next time. :D

I'M SO GONNA WATCH REC 2! "D

believe in eternity love?

i do, cause of you.

2010-04-20T04:31:00.000-07:00

Twinkle twinkle! I love you! :D

today skipped PE in the morning, caused its at 8! hell man. i couldnt wake up. LOLS. went for 2 lesson at 9.30. then baby came to look for me at cafe2. he sang two songs for me! "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" & "I Love You" (Barney's song). hahahs! he was singing at my ear there. make me feel itchy and laughed like hell. he got to repeat the song number of times cause he keep laughing too. :D

after school, he asked to tell him what he wanna to hear. of cos, by that time, i told him:D I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. :D (you gonna sing another 3 times for me alr! hahas! kidding ;P)

for today, i drew this on msn ... :D

OUR PIG HOUSE! :D

2010-04-19T04:22:00.000-07:00

HAPPPPPYYY DAY :)!

why? today, my CA was on mc. and today having lesson with her for fcuking long hours. guess what. her lesson was cancel and early release for practical! HAHAHAHAS. happy man. or else school gonna end at 6! ;)

lunch with baby. playing with his haior while he is having his lunch. LOLS. and this :

hahas! cute hahs, like two devil horn. idea:D

after school, cafe1 with baby and he sent me home. sweety him♥ :) then while waiting for him to reach home. went to bath and have dinner. after that, msn with him. hahas, and i drew my dinner out for him to see on msn. :D cute right. part of it.

my cute lil rice:D and i still drew some chicken wing, prawns, fish, soup, drinks. LOLS! my prawn looks like crab, my chicken wing looks like fish. LOLS! some "good" comments from my baby boy hahs. nevermind. as long as it will makes you smile can alr. :) & yes, It's a endless love or even everlasting love in between us.

tmr school @ 8! fcuking god! first period, PE somemore! i feel like skipping!! :(!

2010-04-18T23:25:00.000-07:00

~~she sick and fucked up with her life.~~

~~she feels like ending it.~~

SHE'S LOVING IT! with you around ♥

2010-04-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

after saying everything out. i felt so relieved. Finally, everything was fine. & i hope it will.

anyway, days @ school was HELL BORING. attending the bloody orientation. doing all the stupid games, listening to those sickening talks and blah shits. making me regret of going back to school. but then, there were you all guys around & of cos my baby, it makes everything better. :)

today, after school, cab home with baby. and watched movie. was rather tired :/. after that, bathed and baby took bus to hougang to have his teeth done. while i took bus home. then, the highway was jam. due to some accident at the front. took more than 10mins to get out of the jam. whole journey took 1 hour!

reached home, bathed, playing games on fb, chatting with baby, dinner and now blogging. I'M FREAKING TIRED. but ... tmr school start @ 11 only! YEAH! sleep sleep sleep sleep! :)

just love having pig husband of mine :)

& after eating with his BIGGG stomach, he's sleeping now.

PIG! (oo)

2010-04-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

differences???? hahahas, yes, i'm back to bangsxzxz again. :D. baby wanna me go cut bangs. he say it's nicer. so go cut lors. for your sake, although i dont really like bangs, i will cut for you. :)

going back to school on mon. sians~ no more late nights and late good "morning" to me. now, i wanna have more holidays man. :(

i keep telling myself
"remember what you've said!"
but i cant do it.
it sucks alot, really.
spoil my mood. ==.

2010-04-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

we fall down hard but stand up stronger together again.

like what you said,

"I wont care about the past only for our future."

yeah, i will too. :)

remember what you've said.

yours truely wanna to be inside the Underwater World hahs.

i wanna the Sharks, Whales & Stingray all those be there too.

i want every Marine Creatures to be there! :D

inside the submarine also can lars.

i dont mind ;)

waken up to see that everything is okay.

the first time in my life and now is so great.

slow down and look around and i'm so amaze.

and i think about the little things that make life great.

this is the best feeling.

everything will just be perfect with you beside me.

every single Imperfect ones will also become the PERFECT ones.

2010-04-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

maybe i'm not the one whose wing is getting stronger. its yours.

i'm sorry that i disturb you.
i think i wont le bahs.
i wont anymore.

every pain i got, makes me think alot.
makes me think of the foolish things i do for you, just wanna make you happy and show me the smile i always wanna see.
but i think, it wont be happening anymore. no smile from your face just for me i think.

i'm too tired to explain or even tell you why i act like this.
i've alr told you last few weeks ago or not even once.
i'm very sensitive.
that's all.
from now on, i'm not going to explain further anymore. i'm very tired alr.
if loving you would lead us to tough journey. i rather give you the happiness to let you go.

i think you would enjoy life like today without anyone to nag at you when you're out or even playing game. peaceful life right.

afterall, i'm just an ordinary girl who just need someone to love, care and pamper. be there whenever i need someone, giving surprises to make me smile even if i'm down. accompany me to walk through every tough moments with me without me saying it. be the very special ones in my life. thats all. is it very difficult? i think so. that's why i'm such a failure in relationship.

like now you've said, you wont cry anymore. i'm happy for you. dont let the sadness surround you. let the do the jobs for you.

talk no more. leave it to fate. what's mine will be mine. if fated that its not mine, no matter how hard i try and cry, at the end it wont be mine.

i'm just a bad person

forever, no one appreciate what i've done for them. i'm tired.

2010-04-05T22:33:00.000-07:00

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂虽然我愿意
心还想着你
再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

i miss you so.

you?

2010-04-05T00:24:00.000-07:00

i'm coughing my lungs out alr.

what's more. having slight fever and headache now.

whole day sleep, eat, watch tv. :/

and i cant sleep now! x'c

i think i needa cold towel & my blankety now~

hais, i hate the fact that. i love you more than you do.
but what else. you said those words.
really...
it hurts more than you ever expect.
i think i really think hard about us.

2010-04-02T00:23:00.000-07:00

Here to update some late pictures. :)

& then ...

♥BABY! ;D

2010-03-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

♥

2010-03-25T23:40:00.000-07:00

anyway, now then i blog. LOLS.

firstly, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MINGHUI. hoped you enjoy that day. :)

secondly, today is our 8th month together. HAPPY 8TH MONTH BABY. :) how fast. it's gonna be 1 year soon. hope everything will be fine.

yesterday, baby came down to find me because i'm mad at him >:c. LOLS. he smsed me whether he can come down anot. kinda shocked, caused it was raining heavily. came down, he played com while i watched tv. then dinner. prepared for the king of mine. 8 plus he went home.

today went over to find him. watched one of the jack neo's film. kinda funny. LOLS. slacked then mask after that. baby needa practice more! :x went to sleep plus it's raining! shioked:D then woked up. watched finish the last part and went to tampines to have our dinner. :D PEPPER LUNCH, my favourite:D fairprice to buy baby's tissue and my sweet. :D home sweet home after that.

& now, i'm feeling kinda tired alr. :/

2010-03-22T07:39:00.000-07:00

count me having good romance or bad romance??
i know you concern about me and everything.
but dont you think it was on the wrong track?

i was just very surprised you could do that thing.
nice! i like it (Y)

call my name instead.
since whatever you call, i only can LL like tt.
fine then.

2010-03-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

i'm angry!

VERY ANGRY!!! >:/

Ohf!

2010-03-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

finally, i brought my new keyboard. :D

anyway, yesterday went out to have lunch with parents. then went home bathed and met baby inside de bus. bus to tm to meet minghui and kyo. :D went to frolick to have some yoghurt. then went to toysrus to walked around. kyo running around and making a mess around. even trying to "flirt" ars! LOLS! then arcade then to open plaza to play slides. kyo running around like nobody's business. climbing around till baby have to carry him to play slide. hahahas. then mac to rest. play with kyo. then home sweet home. :)

PICTURES :DDDDDD

2010-03-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

i'm back. :)

back from the trip. was rather tiring. glad that i'm back home:)

trip to a temple where some old people, orphan and handicap people stay there. & even animals. went to walk around. some really very kelian. gosh. got to shake hand with one of them. she very happy can :D so am i. then went up to 3rd floor. there's one twin. they cant talk nor hear. but they can write beautiful english words. they're from singapore! shocked. x! then i saw one dog looks like one of the dog i used to have, ahgirl. but it's a male. LOLS! then saw a guy bring-ing some kittens back. & one bird. and the bird just said "wu gui ah wu gui!" LOLS! cuteeee.

meaningful trip afterall.

nice things always come to an end.

just a short period of time.

sometime, it's not my attitude.

it's the way you talk to me.

makes me wanna attitude you.

2010-03-13T22:45:00.000-08:00

heading to malaysia tomorrow. at first, was cracking brain whether should i going or stay instead. at the end, nothing holds me back. so i guess i will be going then.

the last message you send, indeed. things will be changing i guess. i guess like you said, you wont regret. and i dont think you will. cause having such a sucky girlfriend like me, i guess it's all bad luck.

i dont know what to do if there's any chances. maybe i ought to blame for myself. serve myself right. blame on my bloody attitude i guess. and i dont even have confident in myself. so i dont think you need to have confident in me.

i've been telling people what to do in such situations. but when its my turn to face such situations, i dont know what to do. god! what a good "adviser" can i be. only can say it and not do it.

if there's anything happen or what, just wanna say, you're a wonderful guy.

Edit;

its 12.00am now. and i'm still not on my bed resting. need to wake up early tmr. and i'm still not sleeping! ohf! anyway, i'm tired, eyelid kinda heavy, yawning all the way, but once i lie down, i just cant get to sleep. sickening can. maybe old problem coming again~ freak. hate it! when will i ever stop thinking about it! & its getting worse each time.

out of sudden, i dont feel like going. reason for it is that i miss you terribly. but i have no choice now. x'/

2010-03-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

ohf! i hate it! what am i suppose to do!

i promise to be better,

but i just cant ....

cant ...

like now! fuck fuck fuck!

i seriously need some sleeping pills.

maybe getting some soon.

i needa someone. no ones there for me. seriously no one.]

everyone was just too busy.

ohfuck! AHHHHHHH!

i think i going back on sat.

should i or should not? i dont know..

I MUST BE BETTER!

I MUST BE ABLE TO STAND ALONE MYSELF!

2010-03-06T22:25:00.000-08:00

i dont know what else to say,
after yesterday,
i'm just a bitch whom makes you cry.
i'm just a bitch whom makes you feel all these heartaches.
i'm just a bitch whom makes you cry infront of your friends.
i'm just a bitch whom makes you drink tt lots.
i'm just a bitch whom makes you smoke out of sudden.
i'm just a bitch
playing a role of a bitch
so,
just blame me.

i'm not a good girl
neither
am i a caring girl.

i'm just a girl with bad attitude, bad temper & ridicious.

2010-03-05T06:32:00.000-08:00

i went back to school yesterday. & yes i was wearing my uniform :) went back for presentation for my IA. doing quite well although in middle i pronounce wrong words due to nervous. LOLS! afterall, was alright. after presentation, talk cock with teacher. then went to find the girls. :D took pictures! miss out stella, jiaxin & pearlyn. :/

after that, went to find baby. his house then dinner at punggol plaza. bus home after tt.

as for today... work @ 12 ended at 9. 9 hours of working. but seem nothing to me. time passes quite fast. my food waited for me on the table till it turns bad. LOLS! but no choice. got to eat it up and down to my stomach. have it with chilli sauce. having bad mood the whole bloody day. eat anything = no taste. after that scrub and jacuzzi with kelly. then, bus home.

reached home, open the door. the house was in total darkness. no one at home. only me. mood even worse. ==/. bored and quiet like hell. so, i did something to cheer myself up. doing stupid faces.

really stupid! lols! then on the bloody computer. and start using it. then my mother came back. very noisy. ==. godddddd...

anyway, i didnt know what happen to me these few days. out of sudden, starts to think alot alot alot. emotion breakout, i think. i cant see those messages that you send me. i feel lots of knife stabbing my heart. feels terrible. lunch halfway, i started to cry abit. i cant cry lots and loud. terrible feeling i've. torturing! should i heed my mother's word? afterall, what she say make sense too. selfish or not to be? someone choose for me? i cant make up my mind. i needa cool down!

anyway, decided to go drinking tmr. the only thing that i feel like doing now.

2010-03-03T08:22:00.001-08:00

maybe when you yourself knows someone dont need you,
probably you shouldnt be so thick skin to cling on to him.
maybe i'm just the one who have thick skin.

2010-02-28T01:21:00.000-08:00

ohman. i've been neglecting my blog alr. LOLS! due to laziness of cos. cant blame me. :D have been finding baby on wed and thurs. :D wonderful day man. :)

yesterday went to find baby and his friends to celebrating his friend's birthday @ boat quay. pictures shall do the talkings. :)

after that, baby and i cab home :D

days @ work have been rather torturing. either sleepy, tired or boring. worse still, i cant sleep for at least 5mins. :'c. &&& i'm rushing my bloody report. i've only left with less than 1 week time to the report and presentation. but i'm stuck there. nothing comes to my brain. :/ and i've been lazy too. LOLS! can i dont do those bloody stuffs? sickening man! >:/ then .... i'm cracking my brain whether i should get myself into work society or my study life. at the end, i think i will choose my study life @ ITE bahs.. just too young to walk into work society.

anyway, Happy Belated 7th Month to my baby. times have been passing quite fast. and here we are, been through those ups and down tgt for 7 months. i admit these months have been rather tough for us. but we have been through it tgt. so i hope for the next week months or even future, we can just hold each other's hand and walk through everythings tgt. cause i believe we can do it:) love you lots! :D

2010-02-19T06:34:00.000-08:00

Here's the posts for these few days...

13th;

went to work in the morning. ohh sucks... morning 10AM somemore. but end work at 5. after tt, went home and trip to malaysia after tt.

14th;
came back from malaysia trip in the morning. tired~ chatted on the phone with baby. coffee shop to help me awhile. and went home to rest. woke up, prepared and went to cousin's hosue to have lunch. spend the Valentine Day "meaningfully"

15th;

slept till 1 plus in the afternoon. xP. woke up, prepared and then went to father side there de aunt's house to have dinner. after tt, went home. mother they all went to another aunt's house to gamble and overnight while i bus to find baby. sat down at nearby block and thinking where to go. in the end, baby's house. around 1 plus, his mother came home & i was like ._.!! LOLS! no choice, took two oranges and say "xin nian kuai le" to her. and i got angbao! :D after tt, cab with baby, while he dropped down at his friend's house and i went home.

16th;

went back to work @ 10AM again! killing me~ work work work then aunt's house to have dinner. tt night, was the first night, i lose money while gambling! *ARRRGGGHHH* gonna win back on the the 28th! >:/

17th;

work work work.. after that, mrt to tm to find baby! :D have dinner @ long john. then bus home:D

18th;

off day, went to find baby. slacked at his house, bathed & we wore the same shirt out! funny can! got people looking at us. but i find it cute hohs! :D same shirt with baby :P. then went out @ around 3 plus to sengkang polyclinic as he want to take mc. after tt, compass point for lunch. i got MOS burger and he got his subway. walked around he went to buy sushi and i brought 3 kueh @ $1 only:D sat down and ate the food. then heard got lion dance, and went to take alook. sucks. nothing interesting. while walking bus stop, kana stopped by some people to do survey. then listen to tt person tok cock then baby shoot him. LOLS! funny can. baby's face so serious. LOLS! bus 27 to tampines walked around and went to catch a movie cause nothing to do.

went to watch THE WOLFMAN! woah! nice show man. i shouted twice. guess what, halfway through, while im scared and finding someplace to hide my face, i turned and saw baby sleeping! LOLS!! with mouth open somemore. i tried to disturb him, but he didnt wake up. LOLS! guess he's real tired. :( after tt, i think the show too interesting, plus i just shouted, he didnt sleep alr. LOLS! nice show~ *thumb up high high* dont mind watching second round. :D

then baby pei me go home, while he went up to bai nian. lol! he got his dinner at my house. like pig somemore. ate 1 1/2 plate of rice. LOLS~ im like his maid, take drink and heat up the food for him. ==. then sat down at the living room with my mother. chatted awhile and then watch tv. watched the Animal Planet about those worms getting on to human bodies & skin. fcuking disgusting. and i was like changing the channel while the show was on advertisement & baby kp. LOLS! then pei baby go take cab. home and rest-ed.

19th;

WORKAHOLIC! a word that speaks everything. BUT... got an angbao from a customer! woah! :DDDDDDDD

IM HAVING FCUKING RASHES! :(

2010-02-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

meaningless cny & meaningless valentine. seems nothing to me at all. nothing.

for today, i shouldnt qo anywhere and stay at home rest. have a tired night yesterday and today morning.

i wouldnt want the dreams to happen in real life. someday, i might just trembled and fall. by that time, i wont be standing up again.

2010-02-13T01:47:00.000-08:00

i hope you could be better.
be there when i need you.
not a call or a sms.
i wanna you by my side.
lending me your shoulder to lean awhile to ease my burden and stress away.

sometimes i do wonder, you can make your way down to find your friends. willingly just to spend the money with them. what about me?
sometime i really wish, when i alight the bus, the first thing is to see your face. having your hands wide, letting me to have a big hug and forget every single bad things i went through for the day.
but every wishes turns into disappointment.
now, i couldnt cling too much hope. cause no more pains could be added.
a word "sorry" couldnt just solve or even ease the hurts away.
i just wanna smile for the sake of you, not anyone or anything. couldnt i?

2010-02-10T07:08:00.000-08:00

i'm exhausted.

2010-02-08T00:47:00.000-08:00

nowadays, things that have been going on is getting on my nerve alr. what's that??!!!

fuck it.

things have been going back

so much fasinating stuffs.

till....

or maybe i shouldnt bother anything from now on?

maybe there will be no more quarrels, heartaching and tears.

the feeling i had now cant be described.

the feeling of disappointed, sadness. worse than that i think.

every single word here, hurts me when i type them out.

so what? no one cares.

i seriously hurt right now.

the scar you created on my heart are opened.

you can and will be the last boy in my life.

but....

CAN/COULD I BE YOUR LAST GIRL IN YOUR LIFE?

2010-02-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

tears rolled down cause the heart she has was broken

2010-02-03T08:10:00.000-08:00

KAY'S PRODUCTS ♥

GIRLS' NEEDS - MAKE-UPS!
DO SUPPORT THE LINK ABOVE.
THANKS!

2010-02-01T22:16:00.000-08:00

workaholic man! gosh! im tireddddd! but i enjoyed myself while working. all the jokes we laughed at, the actions that we're doing, get to feed the baby fishes and fishes with jade. wondering if it's time for me to leave the place, will i miss that place and the things we used to do? and that day is gonna arrive soon? of cos im gonna miss there although the customer there sucks. :(. maybe i will continue working there as full-timer after my IA. im still thinking about it. :/

anyway, my life now wasnt as happy as before. didnt know why? cant spend more time with baby is part of it. scared me and baby de distance would be further than before is half of it. no time for myself to rest well is also part of it. oh my. :/

Upcoming events.

Drinking next week! :D!
Valentine day, still no plans~ X/! (i think i will leave it to baby to plan, HAHS! :})
CNY, have not settle with the new clothings!
PAY PAY PAY! haven get yet! freak!

~~i dont need you~~

I NEED YOU.

2010-01-27T06:37:00.000-08:00

your heart is numb.
will your feeling be numb too?

sad to say, my heart wasnt numb at all.
maybe im just the one getting us tgt. how about you? are you doing the same? maybe you will just say, "oh? yeah? fine."

things you say just now on the phone was hurting. but i still try to get back into the conversation. but i failed. asking you repeatedly, and the answer is still the same. maybe the words you said, was just too hurting that i hang the phone.

the things you said will be true?

2010-01-26T23:45:00.000-08:00

there goes my off day~

today got my interview for Higher Nitec. morning i woke up late, was like rushing like mad woman. god~ in the end, when i reached my house de bus stop, called everyone. they were either, in the train or at home only~ woah! im the earliest one! LOL! waited for wy and stella at tenah merah and bus2 to school.

went to function hall for the interview, met baby awhile. i got the teacher whom i pray hard not to get. in the end i tio her, how lucky can i be. :/! she sucks man! then cafe 2 for lunch with the girls. BAN MIAN FOR LUNCH! baby came to find me:) then baby pei me walk to campus haven cause i dont want to walk alone to find the girls:D thanks baby! pei our meilien to have her lunch done:D some picture taken! :)

then bus with stella and wy to bedok. while stella took mrt, me and wy went to have our hair-do done. walked there, gonna melted alr. went there, wy got her hair cut, washed and blw-ed. while i got my hair reborn and cut. for mine, not much different. while wy change her parting to center. nice can! :)

pei her walked to bus stop, and i walked home. baby pei me chatted on the phone. reached home, got my dinner and webby with baby. showing funny faces and suddenly, i think of doing this ...

HAHAHAS! baby say i si bei keyan. LOLS! and he call me took a picture of it. LOLS! ohmy~ i think yesterday must be something wrong with my brain, thats why i will do lots of stupid actions infront of the webcam. LOLS!

guys nowadays just can be so thick skin, think that they're that handsome to use a vehicle to honk you or even stareeee at you. ohmyfuckinggod!

2010-01-25T00:05:00.000-08:00

it's 00:03 now.

Happy 6 months together.

been through lots of up and down.
and we've gone through all obstacles infront of us.
and i believe we're getting better and stronger in our relationship.
i just love the way you're, baby:)

2010-01-22T07:29:00.000-08:00

i hope we could remain like this?

♥

2010-01-21T08:10:00.000-08:00

i think this is what a true boyfriend will do.
-

When she walks away from you mad - [Follow her]

When she stare's at your lips - [Kiss her]
When she pushes you or hit's you - [Grab her and don’t let go]

When she start's cursing at you - [Kiss her and tell her you love her]

When she's quiet - [Ask her what’s wrong]

When she ignore's you - [Give her your attention]
When she pulls away - [Pull her back]

When you see her at her worst - [Tell her she's beautiful]

When you see her start crying - [Just hold her and don’t say a word]

When you see her walking - [Sneak up and hug her waist from behind]

When she's scared - [Protect her]

When she lay's her head on your shoulder - [Tilt her head up and kiss her]

When she steal's your favorite hat - [Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she tease's you - [Tease her back and make her laugh]

When she doesn’t answer for a long time - [reassure her that everything is okay]

When she looks at you with doubt - [Back yourself up with the TRUTH]

When she say's that she like's you - [she really does more than you could understand]

When she grab's at your hands - [Hold her's and play with her fingers]

When she bump's into you - [bump into her back and make her laugh]

When she tells you a secret - [keep it safe and untold]

When she looks at you in your eyes - [don’t look away until she does]

WHEN SHE MISSES YOU - [SHES HURTING INSIDE]

When you break her heart - [the pain NEVER really goes away]

When she says its over - [she STILL wants you to be hers]

When she repost this bulletin - [she wants you to read it]

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
- DON'T let her have the last word

- NEVER call her hot! Pretty and beautiful is soo much better

- Say you love her more than she could ever love you

- Argue that she is the best girl ever

- WHen she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don’t believe it, talk with her

- When she says she's sorry, she truly means it

- Because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Tease her and let her tease you back

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

- Give her the world

- Let her wear your clothes

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

- Let her know she's important

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

&& When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

♥3days

2010-01-19T11:17:00.000-08:00

i think i wont be blogging till there's something meaningful for me to update. or maybe even till everything in my life is stable then i'll blog.

but tags will still be replied.

2010-01-18T10:27:00.000-08:00

yes, i will.
i will cherish till its gone from my life..

i've a nice dream but will come true? will it?

anyway, happy 21st bithday to kellie :)

2010-01-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

dear life,

can i treat it as there's no tomorrow,

and just enjoy what i got now.

till its gone from my life?

2010-01-16T00:57:00.000-08:00

have been staring blankly at the ceiling tt moment.
thinking and thinking,
why have we've become like this after that matter happened. reading your last time post. i really miss those times. do you still need me like before? what have been happening to us? i've been questioning myself repeatly.

no ones truely unds how i feel right now. am i acting like a fool? or am i stupid. loving someone with my whole heart needs to carry that load of heartaches? or just myself being a fool believe-ing it.

when could i ever stop crying........

2010-01-15T11:02:00.000-08:00

went to find baby:D before that, was like .... about the cab thing. after that, was alright. dead bodies again~ LOL! then, then something happened, heng im clever enough to bring it with me. phew~ then help baby put clay mask. lol! damn funny can. and he's trying to act one "zhong feng".

then ..

....................

......

MODEL OF THE MONTH.

lol! he said so. he's like a model. LOLS! with tt hair style hahs! hahas! then went to sleep. guess what. bad dreams again. again and again. fish sia. heng, the alarm rang and i woke up. get prepared and went to bugis to have our dinner.

food court for my kimchi rice & baby got his pepper lunch. *thumbs up high for my kimchi rice* then went to see baby's stuffs. and actually wanna take neoprint one, due to someone'ssssssssss piiiiiimmmmpleeeees. we nvr take >x/. then walked around, window shopping. and found one shoes damn cute can. gonna buy it! ;)

then went to toast box to have baby's french toast. mac for his coke after that. now then i know mac got extra small coke for $1 sia. LOLS! i thought the smallest size is only small. but still got extra small sia. LOLS! then baby pei me take bus 2 back and he took 31 back after that.

gonna wait till next week then can meet my boy. BOOOORRRREEEEEDDDDD~ :(

2010-01-12T03:07:00.000-08:00

went back to school today to apply my higher nitec. cab over, due to laziness. met baby at the enterance there. while walking to CVC, baby saw bouncer, and we went to noods. have the saugages again. kinda sucks right now. :/ then back to CVC. do all those computer work and i'm done. Interview on 26Jan. woah~ pray hard, i'm qualify for it. if not, im gonna start work alr. no more student fare for transport! ohhh! sucks.. Tampines alone after that, while baby went back for his lesson.

reached home, kinda bored. so paint-ed my that wardrobe. with my painting skill, the wardrobe look so much better! ;)! better than before:) then face mask after that:D

anyway, BALL GAMES SUCKS CAN! >:/

maybe thats the reason that leads to the temptation.

2010-01-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

last sat, went to relative house. had been a long time since i saw them. before that, baby came just to fetch me. ;) met him at simei and bus tgt while i went to relative house, he U-turn back.

reached there, saw this slipper. so wear it. LOLS. ^^

then chit chatted, ate my dinner. reached home at 12 plus. :)

&&&&&& for yesterday,

baby came to fetch me again. ;)! and he say he wanna go expo to see John Little Mega sales, so went with him. at the end, dont have the things he want. so changed plan, wanna go tampines. guess what. we from expo walked all the way to our school there. at traffic light there, we changed our plan again, to 85 and eat. LOLS! so bus down. went there, the place is packed with people. waited for awhile then got place to seat. ordered, and the noodle need around 45mins to 1 hour. so we got our satay and chicken wing. & the noodle arrived. baby's one not nice, as he ordered the dry one. eeek! sticky one. while i got my soup one. *thumbs up*

after that, went to playground and slacked awhile. *save it for thurs hahs! wink;)* and he sent me home:D

can we have every night spent like yesterday?

2010-01-09T00:50:00.000-08:00

days at work were either too slack or too busy. nth much to blog. just wanna say, customer sucks! :/ i'm still awake at this time when i have to wake up early tmr. ==!

i've got no confident in myself, even in relationship.
nights staring at the celing thinking and thinking,
worrying and worrying.
crying and crying.
just cant even think of a way to tell myself that i can do it.
maybe, I am just what i'm thinking. a person who has full of imperfections.

2010-01-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

messages received had been getting colder and colder.

heartaches getting more and more each night.

tears flowing more and more each night.

more things to fear each night.

teach me what to do.

will you?

2010-01-06T01:50:00.000-08:00

met baby just now and he pei-ed me go Tampines to cancel my ATM card. then bus to school and get my result slip and report book. before that, went to Noods to have the saugages while baby have the rice, wedges and fish. then billard and then went to find meilien! it had been a long time since i last saw her. "You gonna stay strong ya? :)"

then bus tgt with baby. dropped down at parkway, while he took to boon keng to find his friend. Tomyam steamboat for lunch *full* thennnn SHOPPPPPINGGGGGG! brought one dress and short pant. MOREEEEE MOREEEEE MOREEEE! coming up :D

& i saw kimhoe. sis was like looking at me with the weird face, and i turn, kimhoe looking at me shaking head. LOLS! sis told me say, he called me afew times, but i didnt heard him. LOLS! cab home after that.

TIREDDDDD! needa go back to work tmr. :'( cant meet baby till next week i guess. GOSH! how am i gonna survived! :'(

i miss my lil horny boy.

2010-01-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

went to find baby in the morning. slacked till evening, he's forever sleeping with the dead bodies. ^^. then bathed and sleep. then something happened! is like WTF MAN! omg.. then went out to plaza sing to catch a movie. mrt over.

then went to pizzahut to eat. rushed up for our movie. ended, went down to buy my nose stud. guess what. i then found out i lost my wallet. fuck it. went up to find cant find. fish sia! then there goes my gucci wallet lars! with all my IC and blah stuffs inside. curse that person sia! walked halfway, drop inside the drain, then cross the road, kana bang by car, cross the over-head bridge, fall down from the top and of course, climb up the stairs, fall down till go hospital. fuck it man!

after that, baby pei me go bedok HQ to report. thanks baby. if you're not around, i also dont know what to do. love you :)

I swear, I'm gonna walked out of Branded World.

& say hello to Cheapo World! ;)

2010-01-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

No Matter How It Rains,

Rainbow still shows.

new blogskin. phew~

got sick of the previous blogskin. so changed it. and it took me quite some time to get it done WELL. sucks man. LOLS.

anyway, woke up early for work today. TIREDDDD! woke up at around 8 plus man. not much makeups as im lazy, till i didnt even draw my eyebrow. LOL! just conceler and eyeliner. & off i go.

work work work till 6 and went home. early hahs? Good girl here! ^^. then mother kinda happy to see me home at such early hour. LOLS! then she wants to have dinner tgt as it had been a long time since we have dinner tgt. awww~ :'( then had my dinner, watched tv and bathed. &&&& chatting with my dear boy @ msn.

i dont know how to describe how much i miss you. gonna meet you up next week hahs, Mr Teo WeeLiang. just cant wait man. :(

2010-01-02T07:12:00.000-08:00

daily routine, work work work. &&& i got myself dress in blue today. blue shirt, blue short jean, blue slipper. wad a blue day man~

today Jade, my part-time mother was on MC. so work late. & Joan started her IA today. so got someone to pei me talk craps and stuffs. not much customers today. taught her how to do opening and closing & help to check the stocks. time fly pass damn fast. then it starts to slow down once it reaches evening time.

then, baby pei me chat till i get home. so nice of him:) we shall stay like this in every conversation we had hahs. :) then had my dinner, bathed and chose the colour i wanna to have on my room wall. i chose, ROSE RED & GREY. love it man. :D mother also say not bad. ^^ cant wait!

anyway, i cant wait to meet my dear baby boy next week. still so long. still got how many countless days sia! :(

bad dreams.

2010-01-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE. :)

sorry for the late posting. tired and everything. :D went to Vivo for countdown with baby after work. sucks can. plus something happened before that. totally go there for nothing man. cant even see the fucking fireworks. waste my bloody time qoinq from one side to another side. and i have to walked home cause no more bus services. Can the fucking SBS provide night bus service?

next day, dray myself up the bed for work. arrggghhh. bad day, bad night. everything.

2009-12-30T17:47:00.000-08:00

went to find baby:) and he's sleeping with the dead bodies again! HAHAHS! plenty man! ;D.

then he said he's hungry and it's too early to go out. so suggested to eat maggi mee and cook for him. while im cooking, he got so much of comments. such as "i dont want so many MSG!" & blah blah blah. aiyo~ cannot stand him. LOLS. after eating, he mouth stink with the maggi mee's smell! LOLS! bth so call him to brush teeth. :) slacked and went out at around 7 plus.

bus & mrt down to 85. reached there, gastric kinda pain. so dont care. after drinking the sugarcane with lemon, and the stingray, WOAH! i cant barely sit straight. after eating the noodle was alright. then mouth itchy go drink the sugarcane again. worse man! then baby pei me walk home slowly. like an old woman. & he suggesting carrying me home. LOLS! in the end, scared pai seh, so nvr. journey home, actually not long. but it seems so long and faraway with that speed of walking.

after tt, he waited till i went in the lift then he took bus home i guess. :)

thanks baby for the day. i enjoyed it. muacks.

anyway, going countdown or not. still thinking. :/

2009-12-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

these few days, my attitude is getting from bad to worse. i dont know why. sometime, i'm just tired to reply or even to think about it.

things you laterly have said, had been damn sensitive to me. no matter how hard i tried not to think about it or even forget about it. it will still appear on my mind. i do understand everything, the problem is i cant stop thinking about. end up, we have to quarrelled over at the phone or wherever. at this point of time, all i need you to be understanding for my feeling and be there whenever i need you. thats all i need from you.

i'm just too tired to care about it. cause i cant take it no more. and i wont take any rubbish anymore. things i've said will really happened. trust me.

anyway, i've been acting the role of the bad guy throughout the whole situations. thats what my sis say about me. and tt slut got to play the role of an angel. then forget it. treat me as one then.

the walls i've builded.

baby, it's trembling down.

2009-12-27T06:32:00.000-08:00

things has been qoinq sucky & torturing but now its getting better. i hope it will.

anyway, tt Lazabor trying to play punk with me. wtf man! at the end, i cant go down find her. tt is the most sucky part after everything. sick right. but after all, what i said before, is always the truth. bitch are born to be bitch. they cant change the fcuking fact that they're one. right? somemore tt Lazabor's skin colour is BLACK! horrible man. and i dont fucking care whether she's prettier than me, figure better than me, bra and underwear size is bigger than me. BLACK IS STILL BLACK! trying to flirt around with my boy and even have B.O in your body? but i think she got alot of perfume sprayed on her body! OMG! but... still *SMELLY SMELLY!* fuck tt slut man!

anyway, thanks baby for the christmas gift. im still cracking my brain what to buy. :/

am i a devil or an angel?

2009-12-26T19:12:00.000-08:00

i dont mind it
i dont mind at all,
it's like you're the swing set
and i'm the kid that falls

it's like the way we fight
the times i cried
we come to blows
and every night
the passion's there
so it's to be right
right?

i don't mind it
i don't mind at all
it's like one of those bad dreams
when you can't wake up
it looks like you've given up
you've had enough
but i want more
no i won't stop
because i just know
you'll come around
right?

i don't believe you
when you said don't come around here no more
i won't remind you
you said we won't be apart

i don't believe
when you say you dont need me anymore
so don't pretend to not love me at all.

don't stand there and see me fall here.

2009-12-26T17:24:00.000-08:00

i couldnt take it anymore!
all the things that happen on me!
i feel empty now.
can i just give up my life for goodness sake!

please.. dont take my weakness as an advantage.

2009-12-25T18:34:00.001-08:00

out if sudden, i feel like doing the things i always wanted to do from young.

to be a model.

2009-12-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

christmas terror~

after today, then i realise, im not your love. im nothing, i just a stepping stone in your life.

just thinking, am i not good enough, or maybe she is better. i dont denied theres lots of girls outside who is better than me. maybe im just a shitty person.

you didnt fulfill your promise, you didnt accompany me to walk through it.

was just thinking all these, till i dont even know what i'm doing.

anyway, i didnt get hold of your heart. someone else does.

2009-12-22T21:46:00.000-08:00

OFF DAY!

happy! finally i can rest well today. :)

yesterday, kinda falling sick. sis said my face kinda swollen. bad headache. so went to take temperature. 37.3 degree. then baby said im going to have fever. :/ ate medicine and then chat with baby on the phone. around 11 plus, baby went to sleep and i tried sleep. in the end, cant sleep, went to watch tv,The Incredible Hulk. woah. i think 1 plus then sleep.

anyway, got my exam result alr. here it goes:

Body massgage - B
Salon Operation - A
Depilatory Treatment - B
Selling Skill - D

my result, kinda disappointed but rather surprising. i thought my body massage i could score A for it, at the end was a B. utterly disappointed with it. :'c. whereas for my Depilatory Treatment, i thought i will only have a D or a C. but i score B for it! woah~ tt is the lesson i've skipped alot and didnt really study for it. hahahas~ yet i can score B. anyway, my G.P.A for it is 3.303 ~ 3.3 . so i think its okay~ wish i could score well for my IA and go for higher nitec.

bored at home. im gonna go rest awhile~ i've got such an idiot head! >:c

cant wait for tmr! :)